It's all about the poems
by Phoenix-Kitsune-Demon
Summary: Harry feels withdrawn from everyone and starts thinking about suicide. Suddenly he starts getting mysterious poems from someone who claims they love him. Who is the writer? How will Harry respond? REVAMPED AND RESUMED!
1. Chapter 1

**Harry: On with the story!**

**Patience, these things take time. I am trying to think so please be quiet.**

**Draco: You're thinking? Does it hurt?**

**Ron: Shut your trap Malfoy!**

**Draco: Why should I Weasel?**

**Harry: Because I'll hex you! (pulls out wand and aims it at Draco)**

**Snape: Oh, what's this? Threatening students Potter? Ten points from Gryffindor.**

**WILL ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! I am trying to write a story here! If you don't all shut your faces I will write you as fairy boys with pink hair! Now, Severus will you be so kind as to give the disclaimer.**

**Snape: Hmph. (glares at enraged author)**

**Fine, (starts typing and reading it aloud) 'One morning Snape awoke, feeling there was something wrong. As he walked into the bathroom he glanced in a mirror and froze in horror. He had sparkly wings growing out of his back and his hair was bright pink.'**

**Snape: ENOUGH! I will give the stupid disclaimer if you erase that piece of trash you insolent brat! (author erases previous sentences) Kitsune does not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, she only claims rights to the plot and any OCs.**

**Thank you, Severus. Now, ON WITH THE STORY!**

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table surrounded by all his friends. None of them seemed to notice that he wasn't eating. They never noticed. With a sigh Harry ate one more mouthful of his breakfast, struggling to keep it down. He pushed away his plate and sat back, watching everyone around him laugh and joke. A screech of an owl made him look up in time to spot a regal brown owl diving towards him. It landed lightly on the table and offered its leg to him. Harry took the parchment, hoping that it was not another fan letter. He opened it and unfolded the first part.

'Do not open the rest of this letter at the table. It contains information that is for your eyes only. Please return to your dorm alone and read this.'

Intrigued Harry stood. He waved his friends away when they tried to follow. _I wonder what could be written. No one could have noticed the way I've been acting, right? I was careful to be cheerful whenever I knew someone was looking. But what if I didn't know they were looking? Why would someone spy on me? No, I'm just overthinking it. It's probably just a love note or something. Nothing of importantance. _By now Harry had made it back to the common room and he made his way up to his dorm and sat on his bed to open the letter. Inside was a little poem.

"I sit in silence

Falling deep into despair

The only thing holding me still

Is knowing your there

My soul is slipping

Deeper into the black

I'm holding in my tears

To shed behind your back

Memories of pain

Fill my dreams each night

They tear apart my heart

With all of their might

Only thoughts of you

Stay my bloody knife

From cutting deep into my skin

And ending my pain-filled life

You're the saviour of the world

But it means nothing to me

All that matters is

You're slowing setting me free

I see it in your eyes

The pain your holding in

While everyone around you

Pretends to be your friend

I come closer to the breaking point

Each time I catch your eyes

And I want you to know

That you're a really special guy

If your follow through witl your thoughts

Of cutting your precious life short

I'll be not that far behind

Because your my only support"

Harry sat in his bed stunned. No one loves me. I'm a freak who only exists to kill Voldemort. Who could possibly write that about me? Is it possible, no. He shook off the thought. Maybe if I write back... Harry grabbed a quill and some parchment and started to compose a reply.

**Sorry for the shortness of the story. I didn't want to add another poem into this chapter yet. I swear on my author's honor all the other chapters will be much longer. But for now I open the poll as to who will be the writer of the mysterious poem.**

**1. Draco**

**2. Severus**

**3. Blaise**

**4. Seamus**

**5. Dean**

**6. Cedric**

**7. the DA Proffesor, who will be a random OC that I will come up with**

**8. any combination of the above, I am not apposed to a three or foursome, just enter your vote and I'll start the race!**


	2. Chapter 2

Moonlight glints off a silver blade

That beckons to me from across the room

It taunts me with its jagged edge

Waiting for me to stain it maroon

Seducing me with the thought of my blood

I long for the crimson river to flow

Seeking comfort only my pain will give

Longing for a way out

I'm being held captive

They expect me to be perfect

And to fight for their cause

They think I'm waiting

For their applause

If I had my way I'd be invisible

A shadow in the background

Moving amongst them

Without a sound

I pray for death

Ready for it's embrace

I'm tired of being put

In their little showcase

A light in the dark

Shines through to me

Someone out there

Is setting me free

Who are you

That you touch my soul

So deeply buried in my lonely hole

I wish to know

Your lovely name

And why your not dazzled

By my fame

I will wait to end my wretched life

But for you, and only you

For with your kind words

My urges are subdued

But please answer me this

Why do you care

No one's ever bothered

With my welfare

The parchment drew back from a flickering candle light. _I can't believe he responded. _Thought the author of the first poem. _I was sure he would just blow it off like he does most of everything. Hmm. I don't want him to know who I am yet. Maybe just send another poem? Yes, I'll write another one. _A figure turned in the shadows and walked away from the stained glass window.

Harry awoke with a start. He thrashed frantically. Something was holding him down. He looked to see that his blanked was wrapped around his body in a vice-like grip. As he tried to recall what he had been dreaming, Harry scanned the dorm. No one seemed to have been woken by the noise he was making. Strangely he couldn't remember what the dream was about. He normally always remembered them, because they were so horrible the images burned themselves into his soul. But this time it was different. All he remembered was falling. Then there was a sharp jerk and he awoke. It made no sense, why was he falling? And what happened to stop it? With a sigh Harry rolled over and tried to fall asleep again.

The next morning Harry trudged down to the Great Hall, surrounded by all his laughing friends. Again no one seemed to notice that he wasn't participating in the conversation. Why should they? No one paid attention to him. He didn't exist, he was just a freak that no one could ever love. The poem that he had received the day before popped, unbidden, into his mind.

_Why would someone send me something like that? Could it possibly be true? No, of course not. No one loves freaks and that is all that I am. I'm a freak of nature that shouldn't exist and no one could ever love._

Harry was snapped out of his thoughts when an owl landed in front of him. _When did I sit down? _Upset at having lost focus and not even noticing that they had all seated themselves at the Gryffindor table, he opened the letter. It was another poem! _What kind of sick joke is this? I asked them to tell me who they were only so I would know who was lying to me. Who was playing me a fool. Well, it wouldn't hurt to read it._

Oh Harry, my Harry

Why can't you see

I'm different than those others

I want you to be free

Each day I hide

And watch you from the shadows

As the light fades from your eyes

While no one else knows

Please believe me

When I say

I want all those that hurt to

To severely pay

How could they harm you

Such a precious boy

Why do they treat you

Like you're their toy

I know of the pain

That reflects in your eyes

A reminder of

All of their lies

You try to ignore

All that you've been through

But I want to help you

Start all anew

Please my little emerald

Let me into your life

It doesn't have to end

With your little knife

I know of temptation

And I beg to to ignore

The call of the blade

That you so adore

So won't you please

Hold out just for me

Don't end your life

When I can set you free

_Love, Your devoted shadow_

P.S. I know you wish to know my name, but please understand me when I say that it wouldn't be wise to answer your question. Knowing who I am might stop you from writing back, for you will laugh at me and call me a liar, the one thing I can tell you is I love you will all my heart, forever and always.

Harry stared at the parchment in disbelief. _No, it's not possible. No one can love me! No one is allowed! _In a fit of despair Harry jumped to his feet and dashed out of the hall, ignoring the calls of his worried friends. He ran and he ran, without any direction, til finally he collapsed in an old hallway. _Why? Why me? Why is Shadow being so cruel? How could he lie to me so if he knows of my pain? Why does he want me to believe that anyone could possible care for me at all? It can't be true! I know its not. But then why do I feel the need to write back? Why does my heart hurt and my stomach flip everytime I think of his words? What is wrong with me?_

Unable to hold the anguish in any longer, Harry softly started singing lyrics of a Muggle song, that he had never really understood until now.

**Take my life, by Sarah Brightman**

There's a river that's swollen with rain

You wouldn't guess that I've know so much pain

I have a heart, swollen with pride  
You wouldn't guess what I hold inside  
Oh, it feels so good to have you around  
I feel the walls come tumbling down  
I'm ready to change, ready to feel  
To be revealed

Take my life in your hands  
Take my love, be my man  
I'm tired of all the lonely nights  
I need someone to hold me in the candlelight  
Take my life, I wanna live  
I have so much more I want to give  
I need a love that cuts like a knife take my life

With tears still sliding down his face, Harry stood and shakily started towards his dorm. He didn't notice the eyes that watched him from the shadows, and that glistened with answering tears for the boy's soft words. Then, Shadow too turned away and slowly made his way back to the crowded Great Hall. Back to all the people who hurt his little emerald, and back to the pain of their ignorance.

**Ron: Harry stop crying!**

**Harry: -hic- Shut up Ron! -hic- Did you even read the story! Of -hic- course not! Now go -hic- away!**

**There, there Harry dear. All will get better in time. Now, Ron, since you are being so rude you will be responsible for the disclaimer, since I forgot about it in the beginning.**

**Ron: No! Why do I have to do it.**

**Because, -rests hands on keyboard- I hold the power to change your life, forever. So you see, Ronnie-dearest, you must do as I say or I just might write you out of the story permanently.**

**Ron: Heh, now see here, there's no need for that! Phoenix does not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, it all belongs solely to Mrs. Rowling, but Phoenix does lay claim to the plot line and any and all poems or songs whose true authors are not claimed before the poem or song itsself. **

**Draco: Hahahahaha the Weasel, bowed down to Phoenix! Hahahahaha!**

**Now, now Draco, no need for that. You're next. -Draco pales- Ahh, the joys of being an author.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I would like to thank Future-Little-Mrs.-Teddy-Lupin for pointing out my lyrics. Yes, the song itself is actually a fast one, but for the purpose of this story it was slow. There is another song in this chapter, it is again a fast song, but not that way in the story. The reason for this is that I could not let lyrics that fit so perfectly in my story go to waste so I just discarded the beat and went with just the words. I would also like to thank you for being a return reviewer! :) means a lot.**

**Now, for the poll.**

**1. Draco-1**

**2. Severus-1**

**3. Blaise-0**

**4. Seamus-1**

**5. Dean-1**

**6. Cedric-2**

**7. OC-0**

**8. Combo- 1 for any combo of 4,5,6.**

**The poll is still open, so vote now! Now onward with the Harry love!**

**Diclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever own, (no matter how much I dream) Harry Potter. I retain rights to the plot and any addition characters, though. **

It had been a week since Harry had run out of the Great Hall. His friends were starting to notice his odd behavior. It was getting harder for him to slip away from them. Someone was always watching him. Every time he tried to escape, they would drag him back into their boring conversations.

Finally, one night, he was able to get away. He slipped on his invisibility cloak and made a dash up to the Astronomy Tower. Just as his feet touched the stairs, Harry heard the sound of footsteps coming down. He quickly stepped tot he side, pressing his thin frame against the wall. A tall cloaked figure came into view. They wore a hood, their face hidden in shadows. The figure walked past Harry before pausing. Harry held his breath, his heart thumping.

"I hop you aren't heading up there to do something that we will both regret...my little emerald." Harry's gasp echoed up the stairwell.

"Shadow." He whispered, the one word holding so much emotion. Emotions that he hadn't let himself feel in a long time.

"Yes." The figure replied, still not turning to the dark-haired boy.

"H-how, did you know I was here?" He asked, his voice breaking.

"The moment you escaped your friends I knew you would head here. I placed a charm on the stairs to warn me when you set foot on them. I stood just out of sight and waited for the ward to react to your presence before starting down the stairs. I figured you would be under your cloak, so I just kept walking til I could feel that I had passed you."

"How did you know that I had slipped past my friends and that I would come here?"

"The first was due to a little spying, and the last because I know you. I could quote to you every thought that has gone through your head since you got my second poem. I knew that you would head here, consciously or unconscious. You always feel safer when you are closer to the sky. So I figured this is most likely place you would go." Finally shadow turned to face Harry. He sighed in disappointment he still couldn't see his face.

"Please, won't you tell me who you are?"

"I'm truly sorry, Harry," Shadow spoke in a soft, sad tone. "You aren't ready to know. You would push me away, claiming that I was lying to you. I have to prove that I really do love you, before I tell you my name. Please, Harry, you have to understand. I am doing this for you."

Shadow had stepped closer, until he was almost directly in front of the smaller boy. He reached out a hand and pulled off the invisibility cloak. Harry gasped in surprise, he hadn't know the other boy had gotten so close. A gloved hand came up to caress his cheek. The tenderness of the gesture brought tears to emerald eyes, making them shine in the darkness.

"Harry." He jumped when Shadow whispered his name. Slowly he slipped his gaze up to the hood that hid the face of his companion, emerald orbs seeking the other's. Frustration was evident behind the tears that swam in his eyes.

"Please." The anguish in the word almost broke both their hearts. "I need you. You understand me, I need that. I need someone to love." Shadow's gloved finger pressed against his trembling lips.

"Shh, my emerald. I won't leave you. I will be in the shadows when you're surrounded by your friends, and when you're alone, I'll be by your side."

Strong arms wrapped around Harry's wiry frame, pulling him against a muscled chest. He leaned his head on Shadow's shoulder and wrapped his own arms around his waist.

"Come, sit with me." Shadow picked him up, muscles rippling, and carried him up the stairs tot the roof of the tower. He set Harry down and spread out the cloak like a blanket. He stretched out on it, pulling Harry down with him. Harry found Shadow's strong arms around his waist and his head nestled under his chin.

He smiled at how he was maneuvered into a position that gave him no opportunity to sneak a glance at his companion's face. One hand crest up to rest on Shadow's chest, the other sneaking down to intertwine their fingers. They sat like that for a long time, a comfortable silence stretching between them. Content, and happy for the first time in ages, Harry allowed himself to relax. Lyrics again popped into his head, and they rolled off his tongue without thought.

**Falling to Pieces by Faith No More**

Back and forth, I sway with the wind  
Resolution slips away again  
Right through my fingers, back into my heart  
Where it's out of reach and it's in the dark  
Sometimes I think I'm blind  
Or I may be just paralyzed  
Because the plot thickens every day  
And the pieces of my puzzle keep crumbling away  
But I know, there's a picture beneath  
Indecision clouds my vision  
No one listens...  
Because I'm somewhere in between  
My love and my agony  
You see, I'm somewhere in between  
My life is falling to pieces  
Somebody put me together  
Laying face down on the ground  
My fingers in my ears to block the sound  
My eyes shut tight to avoid the sign  
Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight  
Droplets of "yes" and "no"  
In an ocean of "maybe"  
From the bottom, it looks like a steep incline  
From the top, another downhill slope of mine  
But I know, the equilibrium's there  
Indecision clouds my vision  
No one listens  
Because I'm somewhere in between  
My love and my agony  
You see, I'm somewhere in between  
My life is falling to pieces  
Somebody put me together

The last note of the song hung in the air for a moment, then Harry felt himself being lifted up. He had closed his eyes while he sang, but they snapped open when he felt a pair of lips touch his own. He still couldn't see Shadow's face, but he decided he didn't really care. His eyes slipped shut again and he kissed back.

A tongue swept his lower lip and he parted them, allowing Shadow entrance. Fireworks exploded behind his eyes and Harry gasped. Nothing he had ever felt before felt this good. He brought both hands up to clutch at Shadow's shirt and gasped again when he withdrew. Harry held him tight, afraid to let go.

"I won't let you fall apart, I promise." He whispered in his ear, breath tickling Harry's neck. He shuddered at the sensation and nodded. He tried to pull him into another kiss but Shadow resisted. "We must go, who knows when someone will come snooping around up here looking for students out of bed."

"I don't want to leave you. I feel safe here." Harry said, pressing his face into Shadow's robes. A low chuckled reached his ears and he scowled. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just you probably wouldn't think that if you knew whose arms you were in." Harry shook his head.

"No, it doesn't matter." Shadow laughed again, and Harry's scowl deepened. Before he could retort though, lips pressed against his again. He relaxed into the kiss, keeping his eyes closed even when it broke.

"You should go to your dorm now, my little emerald. You need your sleep." Emerald orbs snapped open to reply, only to look around in confusion. He was alone. With a sigh he picked up his cloak, sent a longing glance up at the sky, and trudged back to him room.

Entering the Common Room, he sighed with relief that everyone had already gone to bed. He changed and crawled into bed. When he finally fell asleep, his dreams were peaceful for the first time in years. No nightmare plagued his mind, only thoughts of his precious Shadow.

**Please review and cast your vote! Thank you! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Alas, HP is not for sale so I do not own it. That right remains with J.K.R. Although I hold claim to the plot, and any different character traits.**

"Harry!" He jolted up in his bed, eyes wide, hands set ready to defend. Wild green eyes fell on red hair that loomed over him. He sighed and grabbed his glasses, shoving them roughly on his face.

"What, Ron?" Harry asked, trying to keep the exasperation he felt out of his voice.

"It's time for breakfast. If you hurry we won't be late."

"I'm not hungry. Why don't you head on down and I'll catch up with you and 'Mione at class. He caught the look on Ron's face and cut him off before he could protest. "I'll grab something from the kitchens, OK?"

Again he opened his mouth to argue but snapped it shut at the look the dark-haired boy shot him. With a sigh he left the room and Harry collapsed back on his pillow. He hadn't gotten any sleep. No nightmares plagued his mind, but doubts had begun seeping in. It made him too scared to sleep, because in the dreams his fears could be realized.

Tapping on the window snapped him out of his thoughts. He stood slowly, stretching out tense muscles. A regal looking brown owl blinked at him through the glass. Harry slid the window open and the owl swooped in, landing on the nearest bedpost. He held out his leg and Harry took the letter, petting his head as a reward. The owl hooted and flew back out the still open window, leaving Harry alone once more.

He looked at the parchment in his hand. Who would be writing to him? Everyone he could think of was at the school and could easily just come see him. There was writing on the front of the folded parchment. Written in bold flowing lettering it said, 'Little Emerald'. It was from Shadow! Harry eagerly opened it and started reading.

_My little emerald, I miss you already. It has scare been a few_

_hours that I have been without your presence. My heart aches_

_to have you by side once more. I hatched a plan to keep you_

_distracted from any bad thoughts you might have while I am away_

_from you. Solve the riddles that I have put together for you. Each_

_answer will yield a new question that will lead you closer to me._

_Here is the first:_

_I am an object_

_Yes, this is true_

_And I hold for you_

_The next clue_

_I give you these hints_

_To aid in your quest_

_But only if you agree_

_To try your best_

_I shrink as time passes_

_I'm alight with life_

_You will find me somewhere_

_Of frightening height_

_Quickly seek me out_

_For if I die_

_I take with me your clue_

_This I swear, is no lie._

_Good luck my lovely._

_ -Your dear Shadow_

Harry looked around, confused. How was he supposed to solve that, he wasn't smart. Hermione was the one who was good at things like that. Sighing, he tucked the riddle in his pocket and got dressed. He would worry about it later, he needed to get a move on before Ron showed up and starteed pestering him again.

Out in the corridor he shivered as the feeling of being watched washed over him. Before he could locate who it was Hermione ran up to him.

"Harry! Are you OK? Ron said you weren't hungry, but you can't keep skipping meals like this! You're thin enough as it is and if you don't eat you'll be nothing but skin and bones!'

" 'Mione!" he yelled, cutting her off mid-rant. "I'll be fine, I was just heading to the kitchens to grab something." She eyed him in disbelief, but backed down.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you and I'm gonna watch you eat." Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm. Why couldn't anyone ever just let him be. They were always breathing down his neck about something. Shaking his head to get rid of those thoughts, he realized that someone was still watching him. A smile curved his lips when he thought of Shadow. Harry scanned the shadowed areas around him, but couldn't see anything.

It was discerning and comforting at the same time. He didn't like knowing that someone was watching his every move, but it was Shadow. The only person who understood him. It was nice to think that he was there if Harry suddenly needed him. Hermione jerked him to a stop and he shook off his thoughts once more. She had a weird look on her face and was studying him. He shrugged and turned away, reaching up to scratch the pear on the entrance to the kitchens.

They entered the kitchens and were immediately mobbed by house elves. Harry told them what he wanted and they all dashed off. He flinched slightly at the disapproving look 'Mione was sending his way. She opened her mouth to reprimand him, but he held up a hand.

"Don't. Just please, don't." He surprised himself with the emotion that was in those five words. She sent him another look, but one that he couldn't decipher. Harry contented himself to just stare off into space. Shadow's riddle kept flowing through his mind.

He was just about to ask Hermione about it when a glint of silver caught his eye. There in the corner was a short, aged candle on a shiny candlestick. Suddenly the answer the the first clue was obvious. A candle! They shrink as the flame, the most basic form of life, burns. If he didn't find it before the candle burnt out, the next riddle would burn too. But where is the candle? Somewhere of frightening height, but that could be any of the towers. Or the Quidditch pitch.

Harry jumped to his feet, that was it! The Quidditch pitch. It had to be there, if only for the reason that Shadow knew that Harry would go there to think, like he always did. What better place to hide it than right under his nose while he wondered what the riddle meant. He rushed out of the kitchens and dashed to the pitch, summoning his broom as he went. He could faintly hear Hermione yelling at him to come back, but he didn't care. When he reached the field, his green eyes scanned it. He almost laughed when he spotted it, floating above one of the goal-posts. He flew up quickly and untied the parchment, slipping it in his pocket.

He saw Hermione making her way towards him and dived back to the ground. He felt a moment of bliss, thinking about the set up Shadow had put together. No one had ever loved him enough to even think about putting something like this together for him. Yet, instead of that thought making him sad, his heart soared. When Shadow had stepped into his life everything changed.

His feet touched the ground and he almost stumbled when his Firebolt was ripped out of his hands. Barely catching himself, he whirled around. An angry Hermione stood, hands on her hips, and a glare leveled at him.

"Why did you just take off like that? You still haven't eaten and you just run off and start flying around like nothing is going on. You, are going to march back to the kitchens and eat something. If I have to shove it down your throat." She didn't seem to have noticed the parchment that bulged in his pocket.

Honestly 'Mione was a smart girl, but sometimes she could be so dumb. She didn't even question why he ran to the pitch for a 2 minute flight before landing. Harry rolled his eyes, shouldered his broom, and started back to the castle. She followed, still ranting. He had a feeling that the day was just going to keep going downhill from there.

**Sorry about the long wait guys. Between practice, school, and games I haven't had any time to type this up. Luck for you readers I write most of my stuff while in school and just have to type it up when I have time, so this was just waiting to be posted. The next chapter will be up pretty soon. And yes I know this one was rather short, but you will understand when I post number 5.**

**I haven't checked the poll lately, but from what I gather it is still the same, because I haven't gotten anymore reviews that I know of. Anyway, I will stop rambling on. Read and Review and I will get to work on the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Whoo, you guys are so lucky. I was suddenly hit with an idea that broke through my temporary writers block and boom, this popped out. I hope you all love it. I spent all day at school working on it. Not that it mattered, we never do anything in my school. My class had 9 people in it. The entire grade, not just the class. It's rediculous, and the teachers never teach us anything thats not like common sense. So I spend most of my time writing and ignoring all the snide comments thrown my way from my classmates. None of them really like me, not that I care because they are all stupid and think that they can treat me like trash and expect me, the only smart one, to let them cheat off me. Its kind of sad in a way. Anyway, I will stop rambling on about my boring life and let you get to the story. And you all better review I worked really hard on this, and put up with a lot of crap my 'friends' sent my way while I was writing and not paying them any attention...Hmm, I'm still blabbing. I'll shut up now.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own Harry Potter, even though it's one of my greatest desires. Read the A/N if you haven't already.**

Again, in case you always just ignore the bold, read the A/N at the top its important.

The lunch bell finally rang and Harry darted out of the classroom like a lightning-bolt. (sorry couldn't resist that). He ignored the calls from Ron and Hermione, focusing only on his goal. The Room of Requirement. He reached it after a few minutes and paced in front of the wall three times. '_I need somewhere to get away from my friends. I need somewhere to get away from my friends. I need somewhere to get away from my friends.' _The door appeared and he dashed inside just as Ron and Hermione ran around the corner.

The door slammed shut and Harry willed it away so they couldn't get in. He leaned against the now blank wall and closed his eyes. His friends had been pestering him all during classes. Prodding him with questions that seemed to have hidden meanings. It was like they were setting him up for something. He wished that he could just figure out what they were up to.

A mirror appeared in front of him. Curiously he walked over and looked into it. He could see his two best friends. They were walking down a hallway and talking heatedly.

"Why won't he talk to us anymore?"

"I don't know Ron. He's been more and more distant lately. He won't even answer any of our questions. I'm scared for him. Dumbledore said he thinks he knows what is wrong with him, but he won't tell us what it is unless we can get those answers from Harry."

"But it's not working. Harry won't even give us the time of day anymore."

"We just have to figure something out. We need to know what's happening to him. It could ruin everything if we don't stop it now." Harry stepped away and the mirror vanished again. His friends were spying on him. His _friends_ were spying on him. His friends were _spying _on him. His friends were spying on _him!_ Asking him all those questions only to turn around and tell Dumbledore everything he was saying. It made him angry to think the only people he had ever trusted had betrayed him so. A desk, loaded with fresh parchment, ink, and a few quills appeared. Sitting down he started writing furiously, pouring himself into the words.

_Twist me, spin me,_

_Twirl me round._

_I'm nothing but a puppet,_

_Your little hound._

_Sent to do your bidding,_

_While you watch from behind._

_You keep safe,_

_While I'm sent to the front lines._

_I'm your rag doll,_

_That you love to control._

_Total submission,_

_Is your goal._

_My life is a joke,_

_It's all just a play._

_You pull the strings,_

_So it all goes your way._

_You send my friends,_

_To me in disguise._

_Thinking I'll never know,_

_They are nothing but spies._

_Now the tables turn,_

_Because I know of your game._

_Your stupid little stunt,_

_To keep me docile and tame._

_I **will** break free,_

_From your clutching grasp._

_My life is my own,_

_Finally, at last._

_Now the puppet moves alone,_

_I'm standing free and tall._

_No longer waiting,_

_At your beck and call._

_So tell me now old man,_

_Did you enjoy your fun?_

_Because it's all over now,_

_I'm through, I'm done._

_No longer will I bow,_

_Submitting to your will._

_And I will not hunt for you_

_Waiting on your command to kill._

Finally Harry sat back and admired his work. It was a good think no one would ever see this. They would think he had gone mad. Maybe Shadow would like to read it. Thinking of him made Harry remember the second riddle. He pulled it out of his robes and was about to read it when a voice rang out.

"Potter! Get out here!" Snape? What was he doing here? "Potter! I will start assigning detentions if you do not open this door at once you brat! Get out here, NOW!" Slowly he stood and willed the door into existence again. Opening it a crack Harry peered around the edge. Snape leveled him with a glare and pushed his way through. Turning, Harry followed his professor's movements, hoping he didn't notice the freshly written poem on the desk.

"Pray tell Mister Potter, why you deem my class unfit for attending?" Harry didn't know what to say to that. He hadn't even noticed that he had missed a class.

"I hadn't noticed the time."

"And why did you not just wish for a clock and bother checking to see if you were supposed to be anywhere else?" Harry said nothing, he wasn't in the mood to handle Snape. Especially after he had just poured his heart out into a poem that sat feet away from the man and could be discovered at any moment. "Well, Potter?" Still, he held his tongue.

"Detention, Potter. Tonight at 8 o'clock. Do not be late. Now, off to Transfiguration with you and in your free period after that you will come to the dungeons to make up for the class you missed." Harry sighed, potions alone with Snape. That was just pure torture to even think about. He opened his mouth to say something, decided against it, and clenched his jaw shut. Snape raised an eyebrow before stalking out of the R.o.R. , his robes billowing behind him.

Harry let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. After a moment of pause he started collecting his things. Just as he was thinking that he needed a journal one popped into existence. The poem he had just wrote on the first page. _I really need to come here more often, _he thought.

The last thing Harry grabbed was the riddle. He paused again, debating whether to read it now or wait. The warning bell rang and Harry slid it in the journal and took off down the hall. He came charging into the Transfiguration room, nearly knocking over Professor McGonagall.

"Sorry. So, sorry." he said, holding down a flashback as he caught a glimpse of her angry face. The bell rang, signaling the start of class and she gave him a long look before sighing.

"Sit down, Harry." He took a seat next to Neville, who looked over at him in shock, but he just shrugged. Trying to ignore the hurt looks Ron and Hermione sent his way, he focused on Professor McGonagall. He needed a break from them. There was no way he could act like his 'normal' self when he knew they were just spying on him for Dumbledore.

Contrary to popular belief he didn't like Dumbledore that much. After all the old fool was the one who had dropped him off at the Dursley's in the first place, and who insisted that he go back summer after summer. No one knew how much Harry really hated the old man. They all fell for the Gryffindor mask he always wore. He wished something would happen that would allow him to 'change' so he could act more like his real self.

"Harry!" Neville's fevered whisper broke through his thoughts. He turned to find everyone staring at him.

"Mister Potter, since you find it unnecessary to pay attention why don't you give us a demonstration."

"Err...what exactly are we doing?" The Slytherin's across the room snickered and a few laughed. He shot them all a cold look, really not in the mood to deal with them.

"Nonverbal transfiguration of a beetle into a small chair." Harry sighed, for the millionth time that day, and flicked his wand at the beetle she had laid on the floor in front of him. He ended up with an elegant oak chair, complete with rose designs on the back and arms, and a plush cushion for a seat. Everyone was still staring at him, although now their jaws were on the floor and eyes wide as a house-elf's.

"What?" he asked. McGonagall snapped out of her reverie.

"Mister Potter, how did you do that?"

"With magic," he said venomously, "what did you expect? You asked me to do it."

"Yes Mister Potter, but only to embarrass you for not paying attention. What we are really doing today is turning the beetles into small vases, which is easier to do because of the closeness in size between the two. What you have done Mister Potter is advanced 7th year transfiguration."

"Oh," Harry looked back at the chair. It didn't look that extraordinary to him. It almost looked like the chair he had just vacated in the R.o.R. "So, what now?"

"I am not sure. I will have a talk with the headmaster about it." Harry shrugged and stood.

"Could I be excused from the rest of class then?" he asked politely. Again she stared at him in shock, no one had ever been pardoned from her class before. Then again no one had ever been as far ahead of their classmates as he was.

"I suppose." The words had barely left her lips when Harry had gathered all his things and was out the door. Everyone was still in shock, but McGonagall snapped them out of it. "Back to work!" she said, turning to start her rounds around the room.

In the hall Harry turned and took off back to the R.o.R. He really needed some time alone to think. Everything seemed to be going wrong. He needed some sort of release. _No, _he thought. _I promised Shadow I wouldn't cut anymore. _Distressed, he flew into the room and fell on an elegant bed that had appeared as the door shut and disappeared. _Now that I think on it though, I never really promised him anything. Not that it matters, I don't have my knife with me anyway._

With yet another sigh he opened his eyes and rolled onto his side. And there, on a night stand was his knife. With a wry grin he picked it up and slid a finger lovingly along the silver blade. Harry pulled up his sleeve and gazed at the scars criss-crossing his wrist and forearm. Some were old and faded to the pink-silver they had taken on with time. Others were freshly scabbed over in the brownish-red of clotted blood. Craving the wonderful release Harry dug his nails into them and drug them harsly along his arm. Fresh blood welled up in the newly reopened wounds. It always fascinated him that the blood rushed to the opening, trying to close the flaw in the skin.

Slowly he took the knife in his free hand and pressed the cool silver to his heated flesh. His heart picked up in anticipation, adrenaline rushing through him. It built to unimaginable heights, soaring through him, lighting him on fire. In a sharp quick movement he pulled the blade across his arm. Everything suddenly flew out, flowing with his life's force along his arm and onto the bed.

The release sent him even higher than he had been before and he felt a brief sense of euphoria. A moment of pure bliss, when nothing in the world could touch him, let alone harm him. Then just as suddenly he crashed down. A voice was calling him, pulling him out of his freedom and back to his body.

"Harry!...Harry!...Mister Potter, really!" McGonagall called from the other side of the wall. With a curse he jumped to his feet, performing a Scourgify on himself and grabbing the bandages that he had wished for as they appeared. He wrapped up his arm, expertly, straightened his robes, and opened the door that appeared as he got close to the wall. His head of house fixed him with a look and then entered the room.

Luckily for Harry it had transformed into a study, it even had and open DADA book next to a comfortable chair that stood by a fire. He sat in it and gestured her towards another one that had appeared. She sat and fixed him with a look.

"I talked with Dumbledore and he suggested that we test you to find your full potential. We will then place you in the class level that corresponds with your skills. Harry stared for a second.

"Err...OK. But can we do that tomorrow? I'm really tired."

"Of course."

"Oh, and Professor? I was wondering if I could stay here from now on? You see I've been having nightmares and I don't want to disturb my roommates. And if I'm going to be placed in different classes there's really no point in me staying with them anyway." he said quickly, hoping to reason with her.

"For tonight you may. I will talk with the headmaster about long-term placement. For now, get some sleep Harry, you look like you could use it." Then she left him alone. Once the door shut behind her the study changed back into the bedroom and Harry made his way to the bed. Pulling off his robes and shirt, he transfigured his pants into pajama bottoms. He checked the bandages on his arm, sent a thought to the room about not being disturbed and lay down once more. Two things ran through his mind though, before he fell asleep. The first that he had never read the second riddle, and the second that he had missed make-up Potions and detention with Snape. Then all he knew was the blissful black oblivion of unconsciousness.

**Hope you guys liked it! I kind of got side-tracked from the riddle theme, but I was building up the character. I hope you all understand that right? I mean I gotta have more than just lovey-dovey stuff. Anyway, review review review! Any BTW the survey is still on! So far this is what we got going:**

**Draco: 2**

**Severus:4**

**Blaise: 1**

**Seamus:1**

**Dean:1**

**Cedric:2**

**1 for any combo of Seamus, Dean, Cedric**

**1 for any combo of Draco, Severus, Blaise**

**Hmm, things are getting interesting! Keep the votes coming! Still a long way to go until the big reveal! Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the horribly long wait, if you take a look at my new story it will have the reasons why its been so long. Well, a few of the reasons not all of them. Anyway I reread the story and despite the horrible way the first few chapters were written I decided not to redo the whole thing but to just start going a little more in depth than I had been. The poll is still open if you would like to vote, and these next few chapters will hopefully be a lot better, though I had gotten better I believe. Anyway, heres the next chapter!**

"UP! GET UP POTTER!" Harry rolled over, stretched, and yawned. "NOW POTTER!" Suddenly snapping away at Snape's voice he jumped up and stumbled over his robes to the door. Swinging it open he rubbed his eyes and stared up at the blurry form of his professor. "Really Potter? You missed my detention to catch up on your beauty sleep? Get cleaned up, properly dressed, and meet me and the other professors on the third floor immediately. Your tests start now, and after you will have lunch then follow me straight to the dungeons for your double detention." He whirled around, robes billowing behind him and stalked off.

Harry stood dumbfounded for a second before shutting the door and running into the bathroom that had appeared. He scrubbed down quickly, slipped into his robes, shoved his glasses on, and paused before rushing out the door. Shadow's riddle was still sitting on the desk. He quickly grabbed it, hoping the next clue had not been hidden on another candle because there was now way he would find it.

_Seasons come and seasons go_

_But I forever stand tall_

_Know my secret to get close_

_For I am wary of all_

_Hidden is a little box_

_With the riddle you so seek_

_But be careful searching_

_Don't forget to sneak_

_Know my secret so you can find_

_The treasure I so easily hide_

_You've met me before_

_So you know to mind_

_My flailing attempts_

_To keep you away_

_But you know how to calm me_

_And make me stay._

Quickly memorizing the riddle Harry shoved it in his pocket, grabbed his wand, and left the R.o.R. He raced down the hallways, turning the hidden clues of the poem over in his head. It was something he had met before, and knew how to calm it down. That didn't help him at all! Something that wanted to keep everyone away from it. There are a lot of things that like to be alone! Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he slowed to a walk when he saw Dumbledore waiting for him. The twinkling in his eyes continued as he silently ushered Harry into a room.

It was huge! There was almost enough space to play Quidditch in here! Marble walls curved into a domed ceiling that sparkled with candlelight from hundreds of floating candles. Two oak desks were pushed up against the wall of one side of the room. Chairs were lined up behind them and each of his professors occupied a chair. Various objects littered the floor of the room and he assumed they were all to be used to test his magical prowess.

"Harry, my boy. We all agreed that we would let each professer test you in turn with increasingly more difficult tasks, and questions until you reach a point where you can no longer achieve the desired result or answer the question." Dumbledore said, resting his hand on his shoulder.

"Sounds fine." Harry said. "Which subject is first?"

McGonagall stood, and stepped forward. "We shall do Tranfiguration first, then let your magic recover while you answer and perform tasks for Herbology. After that will be Charms, then History, then Care of Magical Creatures. Finally you shall have Divination and then Potions." Harry nodded and pulled his wand.

"I'm ready when you are Professor." With a nod she stepped forward and placed a bettle in front of him.

"Please replicate the chair you transfigured in my class yesterday." With a nod he pointed his wand at the bettle, and pictured the chair he had made the day before. Quite suddenly the chair was before him, all the intricate detailing in the woodwork exactly the same. Dumbledore happily sat in the chair and declared it quite comfortable, before pulling out a bag of lemon drops and declaring he would use Harry's chair for the duration of the exams. All the professors shook their heads and him, but wisely did not say anything.

Harry spent the next hour changing beetles, other animals, goblets, plain slabs of metal, and anything else McGonagall could pull out into a wide variety of clothes, chairs, dinner sets, cages, other animals, and such. McGonagall finally called a halt to the transfigurations, having been asking him questions between each task, and declared him ready to take his N.E.W.T.S if he was so inclined to.

"I will have to think over the results of all the tests and see what I want to do." McGonagall nodded and stepped back, to be replaced by Sprout.

**Ok guys, major writers block, I really don't want to have to get to in detail about the tests. I don't know enough to even make questions and stuff up for each of the subjects, the plan here is to have him pass all the test to where he can take his N.E.W.T.S. if he wants. I am going to post this measly short chapter. And if you want me to go into more details with the tests I will try to rewrite this chapter and repost it, if ya'll are ok with me skipping ahead I will start the next chapter with him finishing Snape's test and talking to Dumbledore about all his results, then on to finding shadow's clue. I swear not all the chapters will be like this, I just do not have enough ideas for all the tests in my mind right now. Suggestions are welcome and I will post your name in the disclaimer along with which part you recommended. If not I will just continue the story. In a couple days if I haven't heard back I will go ahead and just continue the story and if need be come back later to update and redo this chapter. Please review and let me know your ideas on this because I want to continue this story but I'm stuck on these tests that I walked myself into. For now, enjoy the little bit that I have written. -Phoenix**


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